I have a mini bucket of rough, unpolished Apache Tears in my Sacred Space and I do carry some with me in my crystal medicine bag. With the auction last week, running the website, being a mom, and all the things that all women have to do, be and are, I’ve been able to distract myself somewhat from thinking about my Dad and how his illness has changed and is changing him.
I carry Apache Tears because when I see him I don’t want to mourn what and who he was that is now lost, but because I want to celebrate the life he had, and still has. I know I’ll never understand the “why” of the situation, but I want to find the acceptance that this is what “is” and life is still going to march forward whether or not I mourn now or rejoice that I still get to make my Dad smile when he sees me.
I saw him yesterday and I made him laugh because I was trying to figure out what he was eating and he had no idea what it was. He made me laugh because he was trying to sort little bits of food into neat, separate mounds which is hard to do with whatever it was he was eating. On the way home I thought I am so lucky that we both got to make each other laugh. I also remembered something I told my daughter recently – that I didn’t think we can truly know joy unless we’d experienced sadness. Usually a visit with my Dad means I feel both – and that’s ok.
What I have in my medicine bag:
Apache Tears – for sorrow and acceptance
Angelite – for calm and Angelic guidance
Hematite – for grounding
Amethyst – for serenity and inner peace