Yesterday a friend mentioned to me that I seemed “out of sorts”. This is a friend that lives far away, that I have never met in person, but she is someone I enjoy talking to and I look forward to “seeing” her pop up on my computer day to day. I was completely surprised. I didn’t think I was out of sorts. How could I be and not know it! I have been extremely busy with the crystal biz, it’s been a challenge to take something I love and that was “just mine” and start a business around it. I have’t quite reconciled that part yet 🙂 – And I am exhausted, I admit that. Doing this by myself is like 3 full time jobs it seems. So tired, yes, mildly stressed about orders going out, and going out complete, yes, but I needed to see if if was something more. Something that even someone 2 thousand miles away could see that I wasn’t seeing.
Since this blog is about crystals I thought I’d share part of my afternoon yesterday. So even with dozens of orders needing to go out I decided to go into my little sitting area where I have my main grids and crystals I am currently working with set up. LOL, and that was mostly “it”. I don’t get to do that as often as I used to. I miss doing the thing that I love that I don’t have as much time for anymore.
I need to stop and sit once in a while. Find that peace that comes to me when I can just “be”. I am sad that three family members are terminally ill and I have been struggling with that. Watching my Dad deteriorate from dementia is extremely hard. But I am not the kind of person that stays sad or angry for long periods of time. It’s more like an intense moment of sad and then I move on to whatever it is I was doing. So I made a promise to myself to just find more moments to just “be”. For me that means taking my infamous baths with rose quartz and oils and candles and a big quartz point directly in front of me so I can see the candle light through it. Or sitting with one of my stones and connecting. Or creating a new grid that has meaning for me or with intention for something I want to manifest. Or doing angel card readings. I can’t lose those things while I am working on my crystal business or it won’t mean anything.
So yesterday afternoon I went into the bedroom, all 4 animals followed me. Maybe they were surprised I stopped packing orders 🙂 I cleared off the top shelf of my sacred space and started again. I left the pictures of my kids (noticed once again how cute they were as babies) and got to work. I just picked what I wanted with no thought to metaphysical properties or if this crystal will cancel out that one, I just picked. Hearts, a serenity word stone, my favorite star of david piece and I kept my selenite bowl with the apache tears that represents my dad to me. Each piece means something to me. One heart was from Keith, the apache tears remind me of all the years I had my dad and that he is still here so celebrate him now, the serenity stone is what I am seeking. I need to get back to what the crystals have given me all these years. Peace, serenity, focus, and the power to manifest beautiful things in my life. The rose quartz tumbleds were chosen by my youngest son, the other hearts remind me of my other two kids since of course my heart is so tied to them. The green aventurine heart reminds me of Keith. I carried that heart every day back and forth to the hospital when he was sick. It will always remind me how grateful I am that he is well now.
I did go back to packing orders, feeling really happy. I did spend the rest of the day carrying the cats into other rooms so they would stop jumping into packing boxes and I had to constantly stop the dogs from eating the biodegradable peanuts since they think those are better than a dog treat. I decided I am happy and I love what I do. I just need to also do the other things that make me happy too. Lesson learned!
I took an extra long bath with my rose quartz, and while Keith was busy on the computer I got to just sit again, light my candles and “be” with my new grid. Thank you to all of you that I have met on this journey. Truly.